You won the deal. You lost an engineer

Mark, the head of a business unit, announces that the client has signed. The order had almost gone to a competitor, but Mark secured a meeting and won the buyer over. You congratulate him in the company chat: “That’s how you sell.”

The next day, the technical lead brings you an appendix to the contract. The promised launch is three weeks away. The engineers you need are tied up on another project for two more weeks, and then one of them has a vacation booked. Mark never discussed the deadline with any of them.

You ask him to come and talk.

“If I’d pushed the date back, the client would have walked. We’ll get everyone together and make it happen.”

Mark is willing to put in the work himself. He calls contractors, works through the tasks, and stays late. You like his determination. You really want him to be right.

During a meeting about the launch, an engineer mentions his approved vacation. In front of you, Mark says, “We have a launch. You’ll have to move your vacation.”

You say nothing. First, get the job done. Then you’ll talk to Mark about how he treats people.

By the deadline, the team has managed to launch only some of the features. The client demands the rest, along with fixes for the bugs. The work drags on for another week. Then that same employee tells you he’s leaving.

You offer to discuss his workload and arrange new vacation dates.

“I was waiting for you to step in at that meeting.”

You add up the extra hours, the concession to the client, and the cost of finding a new engineer. There’s almost no profit left. Mark resents your criticism. He brought in the order, stayed to do the work, and pushed everyone else to pull together. You praised his persistence yourself and said nothing when he started demanding the same from others.

In Spiral Dynamics, a Red orientation is associated with strength, independence, and victory. From that perspective, losing an order over a deadline means giving up without a fight. An Orange orientation places greater value on efficiency and growth: the result needs to justify the costs and support future earnings.

Mark was pleased to have won the order. You were picturing the revenue. Neither of you checked in time what it would take from the team. A single deal cannot establish someone’s value orientation, but you can see a difference in the reasoning here.

You regretted the deal once you added up the costs. Your engineer needed your support before that.

A fixation on strength can make objections look like weakness and justify getting your way at other people’s expense. The pursuit of efficiency can justify the same behavior: the profit will cover the extra hours, and employees can rest later. Even if the numbers work, threats do not become an acceptable way to lead.

You acknowledge to the team that you backed an unconfirmed deadline and stayed silent in the meeting. You tell Mark to agree on launch dates with the technical lead before signing the next contract. Approved vacations will stand. If a client needs an earlier date, you’ll first discuss a smaller scope of work.

You talk to the engineer separately. He has every right to stick to his decision. A new approval process cannot undo his departure.

Your own priorities can be easier to see in what you’ve been willing to accept for the sake of success. Learn more about NeuroIAM’s approach to self-understanding at Personal Compass.